i look at the girl in front of me
the one that sits in the corners and does her own thing

shes not lonely, just alone

but she is scared sometimes; i go to comfort her as she cries out her worries
i look up at the girl in front of me and try to tell her, it'll be ok
ive lived your life before too and i know, soon you'll get to live 9 years as a a cat to make up for your human 1

not my poem: The gingerbread man stands inside of a gingerbread house. Is the house made of flesh? Is he made of house? He screams, for he does not know.

Thoughts on a Fresh Spring Day
I look out my window on a fresh spring day
Rain sprinkles the tulips, spreading their petals to the sun
the same light shines onto the birds opening their mouths to their mom
the world spins in harmony with itself
and its place in the universe
like our place in the world

The sea of green like the sea of blue, the sapphire sky above
the morning dove sings a song I can hear, but only they understand
the night spreads its darkness over the sun, but shines with the light of a thousand stars


a hurricane, and in the midst of it all is an island; an untouched oasis protected from the storm.


ode to kammel
youre my best friend, my twin flame
my platonic soulmate
I knew it from the the moment I met you, the moment I stepped in to your beautifully messy life
my beautiful dream
i moved away
we drifted away
I thought about you everyday for four years
what if we had kept in touch
I saw you again when I visited my hometown, we were in the same coffee shop
you said hi and then kept talking to your best friends
not me
its my fault, isnt it
i didnt text you again (you always responded late)
i didnt try to reach out (you never did either)
i connected on insta (you didnt care)
I viewed your life from the outside,
your beautifully messy, wonderful, fantastic life
I want to be part of it
why cant I
(we drifted apart long before I moved away)


I have two scissors and not one of them are mine
I used to have two of my own scissors
bright purple, shiny green
I borrowed them away and they never came back
now Im always in debt, to someone else
someone else’s scissors that Ill never return
why would I when mine werent


2/6/24 9:42 pm
to quit or not, that is the question
Ballet is my life, my oxygen
if its not then youll never make it
dont eat food, eat the music (and air)
as class starts I feel myself crumble, a headache, and a pain in my head
one of built-up stress
I put in so many years of suffering, it cant be for nothing
but do I want to suffer more?
do i quit and regret, do i continue and regret
my whole life (of ballet) is leading to this moment
my whole childhood (filled with ballet) brings me here
why do i have to make the choice that affects my future when Im stuck in the past


Stuffed Full of Sadness - 2/8/25 8:48 pm
I feel like a teddy bear
with a sewn on face
their mouth turned down, they look so sad
but oh, theyre so cute!
you cant help but feel happy when you see them
you snuggle with the soft fur and get a good nights rest
but what about the teddy bear?


I Like to Make Things - 2/28/24 1:22
I like to make things
blankets, painting, crocheted animals
I like to fix things
dried-out clay, ripped shirts, you
I dont like to break things
but it seems youve broken me.


April 11th 7:00pm
*looks up from paper*
Oh sorry, didnt see you there!
Thats what they always say
But why are they apologizing, its not their fault it’s yours
You hide in the shadows
You melt into the background

Sorry, excuse me
Thats what I always say
But why are we apologizing, its not our fault we exist
You hide in the shadows
I tell you to come out
Take up the space you deserve
Swallow the earth